a long, dark Haiku and Jesus who met me there

Theme song: Falling inside the black by skillet 

A Really Rather Long Dark Haiku by telle wild rose from "i wrote the wound, it was the balm" 

Don't say you love me

 If you're here to appeal your case

 Do not, I've been gone

Death, dark and devils

 Same demons newer levels

 Despair consumes me

A blade, a cut, red

 Spread too thin deep down within

 Scared of my shadow

Lies from loving lips

 Knife in back from my own friend

 A sister falls down

In the valley

 That's where you'll find me hiding

 Waiting for daylight

Sun shines yet I hide

 My shame consumes me always

 The lonely is known

Familiar spirits

 Whispers in the ear, danger

 Scream to shout to tears

Sin is a monster

 Beast underneath the bedding

 Making play of life

Child naivety

 Symbols, and riddles spoken

 Never perceive it

Confusion surrounds

 Yet Everything is nothing

 Here's a song for you

We've reached an end now

 Draw your weapon enemy

 Look in the mirror

📖 Scripture Reflections:

Psalm 34:18 (NIV)

 “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

John 11:43–44 (NIV)

 “Jesus called in a loud voice, ‘Lazarus, come out!’ … ‘Take off the grave clothes and let him go.’”

2 Corinthians 4:6 (ESV)

 “For God… has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.”

Encouragement: if you feel your toonfar gone, too crazy, too dark. Stop. God isnt afraid of your darkness. He can and will reach into the depths of you and pull you out. Trust in Him.

When healing isnt the promise, JESUS is, anything else is bonus

 was on mental illness threads and seen this comments like these: "its only for a season." "it will diminish in time" "for the believer sickness/illness isn't forever" <<< WHO told you that????? nowhere is that in the bible.

and typically these folks do NOT mean "when you get your glorified body or ressurection (whichever comes first) then your illnesses will be gone" <<<< what they DO mean is >>> "your illnesses will be gone after xyz years." or "if you had enough faith'' or ''pray more'' or ''you must have secret sin" or "well what are you doing to invite this in?" or "it may be demons". or some other either blamey comment, or lack of comprehending that YES you can be Christian and suffer chronic illness/sickness and no God doesn't always take it away. like pauls thorn in his side He begged God to take away 3 times and what did God actually say?

"My grace is sufficient for you, my power is made perfect in weakness" God shines through and can use anyone to show His power. paul had this thorn in his side, wasn't taken away but yet look how God STILL used him.

a note: this makes me think of that saying "God will never give you more than you can handle" um....that's not in the bible either.

i believe He DOES, so that we turn to HIM and rely on HIM more. when we are weak, then HE is strong. when we feel like giving up, who do we turn to? we pray. to our Father, we cry out. and trust He shows up. He never promised to remove obstacles but to be there with us in it and THROUGH it.

the children of Israel didn't skip or bypass the wilderness, they wandered THROUGH to get to the promised land.

a note: "1 corinthians 10:13" that folks love to misquote is about TEMPTATION context matters. <<<<< temptation is NOT given by God, He cannot be tempted NOR does HE tempt anyone. James 1:13

I been living with chronic mental illness for many years now. and still have it even after 7 years being the Lords. do I still pray for healing? always, but not in complaint or grumbling or demanding but just that I don't know His plans. He may heal me this side of heaven in this body or He may wait till later. that's His business. at same time I don't wait for me to be healed to be used by God. His grace truly IS sufficient. He can STILL and IS using me in all my brokenness and illness to help someone else out there.

hope isn't about receiving something, its about JEsus. HE is our hope.

i know what His word DOES promise, is to deliver us from sin, save our souls, and that our names are written in heaven. that at the end He will wipe every tear from our eyes. that at the end there will be no more sickness or death. just eternal life with Him forever.

i don't praise Him because I want something from Him, I praise Him because HE is WORTHY to be priased and He already given me soo much in saving my soul, anything else I receive is a added bonus to whats already amazing and good.