No one loves me, oh this ache,
They just care how I perform for them,
Demand my presence for the shows sake,
But they never truly choose me over him or the selves of them.
Why does no one want me?
What wrong have I committed, but deeply feel,
The mask is all they want to see,
No one saved me, and theyre choosing him still
Smile in my face,
Yet im the punchline,
The fool of the cruel jokes they make in their secret place,
I swear they do this all the time, im nobodies dime.
Should I stay or should i go?
Searching for a home that feels so far away,
Family isnt family just because blood says so,
Heaven knows my name, no matter what they say.
My soul cries out
My heart knows the truth,
Actions speak louder than words said in a shout,
Ive been, being abandoned since my youth.
I see the joy, the pictures, the love shown to my enemy,
While my line stays silent, no ring,
Im left behind feeling empty ,
Oh death how great is your sting!
Over and again, same game,
Same thoughtlessness
Im left with only shame,
I know im nothing, and everything that is less.
What is it to be wanted vs chosen over?
What is it to be chosen over discarded?
Should have kept my cover,
Opening my mouth and spilling the secret started all this.
A rift too wide to mend,
I try to be the bigger person and get burned,
Over the line, shes around the bend,
No one comes to my aid, my affections never returned.
Sorrow of mind, blind lead the blind,
Sadness of heart, broken dreams,
Heaviness of spirit, I know the kind,
The all consuming type, weariness is beyond bone deep, the bleeding is as it seems.
Oh this ache,
Heartbreak and honeyed lies,
I thought I was dreaming but this whole time, I've been awake,
Silence the shatter and muffle the cries.
Of the never ending ache..
Scripture Reflections:
"No one loves me, oh this ache..."
Jeremiah 31:3
“I have loved you with an everlasting love;
therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you.”
"They just care how I perform..."
1 Samuel 16:7
“The Lord does not look at the things people look at.
People look at the outward appearance,
but the Lord looks at the heart.”
"Why does no one want me?"
Psalm 27:10
“Though my father and mother forsake me,
the Lord will receive me.”
"Smile in my face, yet I'm the punchline..."
Isaiah 53:3
“He was despised and rejected by mankind,
a man of suffering, and familiar with pain.”
Hebrews 4:15
“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses...”
"Searching for a home that feels far away..."
John 14:2-3
“In my Father’s house are many rooms... I am going there to prepare a place for you.”
"My soul cries out…”
Psalm 34:17-18
“The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them;
he delivers them from all their troubles.
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
"Im left behind feeling empty..."
Psalm 147:3
“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”
"What is it to be wanted vs chosen?"
Ephesians 1:4-5
“He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world...
In love He predestined us for adoption...”
"I try to be the bigger person and get burned..."
Romans 12:19
“Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath…”
"Sorrow of mind... weariness beyond bone-deep..."
Matthew 11:28-30
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest... for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”
"I thought I was dreaming, but I’ve been awake..."
Psalm 126:5-6
“Those who sow in tears
will reap with songs of joy.
Those who go out weeping,
carrying seed to sow,
will return with songs of joy,
carrying sheaves with them.”
Encouragement: God is always present in the ache, the midnight tears, he neither slumber nor sleeps but always working out a way for you. Cry out to Him. He hears you.
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