The letters by telle wild rose poem reflections

There have been quite a few times that ive cheated death. all of course by which were by my own hand. or well, would have been, had i gone through with any plans on mine.

i have battled depression and dark thoughts most of my life from childhood, teen years and adulthood. id be lying if i said my thoughts dont still go dark some of the time. but im in a much better position now. before, i lacked the only thing that matters...Jesus Christ. 

No, He has not miraculously healed me, not through lack of faith, for i have like paul, asked him many times, and the answer i consistantly get, is that His grace is sufficient for me. i know for some He will heal and take away mental illness, but there are those of us, perhaps theres a certain beauty in the breakdown if you will. it draws us closer to Him, nearer to the one who catches every tear in His bottle. and makes for an even greater testimony of unwavering faith in extraordinary circumstances. theres a purpose to all this pain, all this suffering, and He is using it for His glory, and to save souls. 

not every story is going to be neat and packaged up with a bow tie, there's grit, and grace, and realness and humaness too. there tears and running noses, hands clenched so tight to the frayed worn fabrics of our bedsheets we wrap ourselves in, just wanting something to hold onto. 

so, yes i have struggled. the first time was when i was 14 years old. i did not yet know the Lord, but i knew enough about Him from others who had relationship with Him, to be angry at Him. why didnt he stop it? why did He allow the abuse to happen? and so i planned on ending things and being done with it all. but cowardice? perhaps a strong will to still live? stopped me in my tracks. 

another time i was 18-19. and this is when i wrote ''the letters''. no...not love letters...goodbye letters. my final words i would ever speak to my loved ones. i kept them secreted away like something in me knew they were wrong and 'other' and not normal. like something knew i was going against my own survival instincts. 

years later after i knew the Lord at age 25, He had me to take those letters...and rip them up and throw them away. His Spirit saying to mine "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.-Jeremiah 29:11

and of course this: Isaiah 30:21“And thine ears shall hear a word behind thee, saying, This is the way, walk ye in it, when ye turn to the right hand, and when ye turn to the left.”

and so here i am, encouraging you all, please dont give up or give in. thats what the enemy wants. instead, cast ALL your anxieties upon Him, for He cares for you. 

for i can promise you this: Psalm 37:25-26

25 I have been young, and now am old; yet have I not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his seed begging bread. 26 He is ever [1] merciful, and lendeth; and his seed is blessed. 

ive never seen one of His, those that are truly His, forgotten, discarded or lacking in any thing.He always provides for His own. 

Below you will see my instagram/threads post of a poem called ''the letters'', here is the scriptures paired with it:  

" if you're looking for a sign to keep going, this is it. stay strong and if your strength should fail you, PRESS in to God and let HIM be your strength. don't give up!

Psalm 31:24 ESV / 3,950 helpful votes
Be strong, and let your heart take courage, all you who wait for the Lord!

1 Corinthians 16:13 ESV / 3,830 helpful votes Helpful Not Helpful
Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong.

Psalm 27:14 ESV / 3,603 helpful votes
Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!

Philippians 4:13 ESV / 19 helpful votes
I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

Exodus 15:2 ESV / 13 helpful votes Helpful Not Helpful
The Lord is my strength and my song, and he has become my salvation; this is my God, and I will praise him, my father's God, and I will exalt him."

and so dear ones, this is not the end of the story, but merely the start of new and wonderful beginnings. stay strong, prayed up and stay in the Word! amen -telle wild rose

The fools journey, inspired by pilgrims progress by john bunyan, by telle wild rose

 

*image by bluewater sweden on unsplash 

*video by alenta azwild on pexels

From the first breath of life i had a taste for wonder and adventure, I was tasked by my maker to discover the meaning of life for myself, and so began my journey alone along the road of life. My first encounter after a long walk, was of a man and woman,a father, a mother, a king and queen in their own rights. smiles a bit silly, and their funny little crowns were crooked. they were welcoming all the same, and I stayed and learned much after the how do you do's. from father, I learned my own creative prowess of the here and now, and structure and from mother, well, besides nurturing, I learned of unlocked potential that I must discover My first brush of impulses, pleasures in various forms I do chase, good food, laughter in my belly, and the thrill of a good time is all that's on my mind, but somewhere amid the time of play, my mind began to desire more knowledge, not just fun. And so began my second task, of my journey. so on the marrow, I bid them ado and began my travels anew. i come to a school of long held thoughts and beliefs, from my innocent upbringing I am now thrust into this bold new world. i read somewhere, that faith of a mustard seed could move mountains, what more can I accomplish by increasing the knowledge given to me?, first from my creator, then mother, then father. i stay for a while, and then awhile longer after that. my mind has expanded beyond what I thought possible, growing in the knowledge and faith and all grace passed down to me, I sit and ponder, all the knowledge of the world, and with whom should I share it with? thus the start of my thrid destination, love, in all its forms, is a thing of beauty. friendship perhaps, but I yearn something deeper, romance? no its greater than even this, something transcendent. so far I have walked this journey alone, but what of connection? so I stop into a holy temple, one of worship, and deep sense of unity. this, its so close now, relationship, community and belonging. i spend a fortnight here, among the praise and worship and I feel I am almost home, just around the bend. once, when I was a child, I gave in to every whim, every thought and every desire, but now that I've become a man, I've put away childish things, and look forward now to the road ahead. said some wise man once long ago. i think he had the right of it, in my opinion anyway. I've come a long way from first breath, to meeting mother,father, and having fun. I've made friends along the way and grown in not only stature but knowledge too. from here I know what I shall do, I must test my strength, to see how I have grown. and then my first, but certainly not my last challenge, finds its way to me. mother and father have fallen ill! oh! how I wish it were me instead! their pain and suffering, cut me to the heart! and soon I'm hearing of their passing. the sorrow takes ahold. i now ask myself why? I've gone from friend to friend, searching for answers but none can satisfy. then a voice...coming deep from within, beyond blood and bone and flesh, its soul deep, Spirit to spirit. "“What sorrow awaits those who argue with their Creator. Does a clay pot argue with its maker? Does the clay dispute with the one who shapes it, saying, ‘Stop, you’re doing it wrong!’ Does the pot exclaim, ‘How clumsy can you be?’" white hot knuckled gripping conviction takes over me in an instant. i cry out in this manner, words long buried in my memory spill forth and I said: “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I will depart. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised.” In all this, Job did not sin by charging God with wrongdoing." and more words spilled from my lips still: "I have heard of thee by the hearing of the ear: but now mine eye seeth thee. Wherefore I abhor myself, and repent in dust and ashes." I fall to my knees in worship once done speaking, for I have seen and now know things too great for me! woe is me, I am undone! my old man has died to self, I must leave him behind, to grasp at the thing ahead! for He from above says this to those in sorrow: " The hand of the Lord was upon me, and carried me out in the spirit of the Lord, and set me down in the midst of the valley which was full of bones, And caused me to pass by them round about: and, behold, there were very many in the open valley; and, lo, they were very dry. And he said unto me, Son of man, can these bones live? And I answered, O Lord God, thou knowest. Again he said unto me, Prophesy upon these bones, and say unto them, O ye dry bones, hear the word of the Lord. Thus saith the Lord God unto these bones; Behold, I will cause breath to enter into you, and ye shall live:" but alas I see another war within my members, threatening to undo all I have learned, who shall deliver me from this body of death?! i hear a small still whisper like a sirens luring song, only this leads not to death but to life, "And thine ears shall hear a word behind thee, saying, This is the way, walk ye in it, when ye turn to the right hand, and when ye turn to the left." and suddenly all my fears are undone, my maker has made a way for me in this wilderness! aha! i cry, for finally I found what my soul was searching for all along. the deliverer, Jesus Christ, shall save me not only from myself, my flesh, but that old serpant, the devil who tried to temp me back to my yester younger years of material pleasures. but what to do with this greater knowledge and understanding? surely I am not the only one He has called and tasked with such a journey, who shall go and tell the people? i hear a commanding voice say: Also I heard the voice of the Lord, saying, Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?, Then said I, Here am I; send me! oh me even me o Lord!" and thus his final word and glorious burden to me is this: "and Jesus came and spake unto them, saying, All power is given unto me in heaven and in earth. Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost: Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world. Amen." and so the fools journey came full circle, from first breath of life, to the taste of death and life again, and at one with His creator forever and ever. The end.

poem: hello, I'm anxiety

I'm the itch in the back of your brain,

Won't leave you alone,it's my little game

The shadow you had to glance at twice to see

The monster in the dark just beneath,

I'm the sweat dripping down your neck,

The fast heartbeat in your chest

The breath you hold, barely caught,

All your night terrors you've tried and sought

Trying to find an answer for this living hell

Your mind that's a prison cell

We've been here before

A knock at the door

Hello, I'm your anxiety

Theme song: rock bottom by citizen soldier 

https://youtu.be/CasEKC1odbk?feature=shared 

Image by: Joice kelly unsplash

Poem by: telle wild rose 

©️2025

Im not ashamed of the garden poem from the husband files

 

I am not ashamed of the Garden

Theme song:   

I am not ashamed

of the garden God planted across her body, 

From her scars, the the darkness of her skin. 

I’m just grateful,

to be allowed beside her

Near her valley lows and mountain highs. 

I am there to catch her and hold her through it all. 

My hands handle with care, 

No caution but praise, 

She is the wife of my soul,

my body,

my spirit.

I cry, not for sorrow but for joy.

There’s a prayer on my lips

poured out loud,

always near to her heart.

Her body tells a story of a once hurt woman now healed and redeemed. 

She falls down to her knees and praises God.

Then rises up with me, hands clasped.

A queen in her own right, one i am honored to stand beside.

And I have never wanted anything

more than I want

her.

Here.

Now.

Her scars never bothered me

it summoned me. Humbled me.called me forth. 

I want her beauty,

her ugly,

her fire and her ash.

I want the holy hush

after her praise.

And I want to wake up

to the woman she is

long after the midnight hour

has passed.

Inhale.

A Selah.

Exhale.

Amen.

Free Book downlaod:   DOWNLOAD

demon in me poem

Demon in me by telle wild rose from "I wrote the wound, it was the balm" 

Don't worry about the darkness you see,

 That's just the demon in me

 Overtaking, consuming

 Leaves me running

 Running into the midst of nowhere

 A shadow, I give a second look, no one there

 Tricks of the mind

 And I fear I'm running out of time

 Why can't I win?

 I don't know where evil begins and I end

 Monsters chasing me

 Memories won't let me be

 Broken brain

 To lose is gain

 Found just to be lost

 She should have counted the cost.

 Deception

 The moment of her conception

 Repurpose the dying dream

 Fear always, for Nothing is as it seems.

 Don't worry about the darkness you see,

 That's just the demon in me...

📖 Scripture Reflections:

Psalm 139:11–12 (NIV)

 “If I say, ‘Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,’ even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.”

Isaiah 43:1 (ESV)

 “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine.”

Romans 8:38–39 (NLT)

 “Nothing can ever separate us from God’s love… not even the powers of hell.”

Encouragement: no voice is louder than God's. Jesus steps into the shadows of you and shines his healing light. Step forth. 

a long, dark Haiku and Jesus who met me there

Theme song: Falling inside the black by skillet 

A Really Rather Long Dark Haiku by telle wild rose from "i wrote the wound, it was the balm" 

Don't say you love me

 If you're here to appeal your case

 Do not, I've been gone

Death, dark and devils

 Same demons newer levels

 Despair consumes me

A blade, a cut, red

 Spread too thin deep down within

 Scared of my shadow

Lies from loving lips

 Knife in back from my own friend

 A sister falls down

In the valley

 That's where you'll find me hiding

 Waiting for daylight

Sun shines yet I hide

 My shame consumes me always

 The lonely is known

Familiar spirits

 Whispers in the ear, danger

 Scream to shout to tears

Sin is a monster

 Beast underneath the bedding

 Making play of life

Child naivety

 Symbols, and riddles spoken

 Never perceive it

Confusion surrounds

 Yet Everything is nothing

 Here's a song for you

We've reached an end now

 Draw your weapon enemy

 Look in the mirror

📖 Scripture Reflections:

Psalm 34:18 (NIV)

 “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

John 11:43–44 (NIV)

 “Jesus called in a loud voice, ‘Lazarus, come out!’ … ‘Take off the grave clothes and let him go.’”

2 Corinthians 4:6 (ESV)

 “For God… has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.”

Encouragement: if you feel your toonfar gone, too crazy, too dark. Stop. God isnt afraid of your darkness. He can and will reach into the depths of you and pull you out. Trust in Him.

God's not done with you hope in the breaking, beauty in the healing

Theme sing: tauren wells, God's not done with you"

I crave the blade from " I wrote the wound, it was the balm" 

Heaven help me,

 for I crave the blade

Madam Merkur

 my lovely lady friend

blade to skin

 to touch

 to cut

 to bleed

red rivers of tears

 falling

 slowly, flowing downwards

Heaven help me,

 I crave the blade.

the pain, the anguish

 cannot be contained

and oh how I fear

 I fear great a many things

 but this desire of mine

oh Heaven help me

 send the angels down to stop me

 for I crave the blade.

📖 Scripture Reflections:

Isaiah 1:18 (NIV)

 “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow…”

Hebrews 4:15–16 (ESV)

 “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize… Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace…”

Psalm 18:16 (NIV)

 “He reached down from on high and took hold of me; He drew me out of deep waters.”

2 Corinthians 12:9 (NIV)

 “My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.”

Encouragement: if you are struggling with mental illness, know this, you are not alone. Heaven knows your name, God sees your pain, and He meets you there.